Author: Ines Lopes, Ph.D., psychologist

Did you know that 61% of girls have reported being victims of cyberviolence at least once, according to a study conducted among teens?¹

With the burden of gender stereotypes, the hypersexualization of girls in the media, societal pressure to meet unrealistic beauty standards, and even sexual exploitation and cyberbullying, teenage girls are increasingly targeted for online violence.

What exactly is online violence? Are girls the only ones affected by these attacks? How can these situations be prevented?

Here is some advice to help you understand this phenomenon and how to respond as a parent.

DOES ONLINE VIOLENCE ONLY AFFECT TEENAGE GIRLS?

👩🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 All genders can be victims of online violence, but girls (as well as members of the LGBTQIA2+ ‍ community 🏳‍🌈 and racialized people) are more exposed to it and in a different way.

Violence against adolescent girls is more often focused on their sexuality and physical appearance. This is also the case when they express opinions online (they are more often criticized). These factors are also cumulative, meaning for example that a racialized teen girl or a trans teen girl is even more likely to be the target of cyberviolence.

Moreover, 39% of girls between the ages of 14 and 17 have been victims of online harassment, compared to 26% of boys in the same age group.²

Additionally, in an often-sexist society where girls are pushed to engage in sexualized behaviours, they face greater pressure in their romantic relationships. In 2018, the Canadian Centre for Child Protection revealed that 20% of young girls aged 15 to 17 have received requests for sexually explicit photos or videos online, compared to 11% of boys in the same age group.³

HOW CAN WE PROTECT GIRLS FROM CYBERVIOLENCE?

Since many cyberharassment situations are related to girls’ dating histories, it is important to educate them about the concept of consent and healthy dating relationships. Your teenager will be better equipped to refuse certain behaviours, such as an overly insistent partner asking for nude photos or videos.

👉  Consult the Violence Meter to learn more about violence in relationships: ici🌡

This practice, called sexting (or erotic selfies) is on the rise among young people and is the cause of many cyberviolence situations. Once transmitted, this content is no longer under the control of the teen and it can be very tempting for a partner to share it with their friends to brag, to humiliate her, to blackmail her or to get revenge in the event of a breakup, for example. Some teens may also use these photos to get something from another partner: “See, SHE sent me a picture of her tits. If you don’t do it, you’re just a big baby.”

While it can be upsetting for a parent to think about their child having sex, it is important to talk about it in an open and non-judgmental way. Take advantage of a current event, a movie or a situation in your community to ask your teen, “What would you have done in her place?” Try as much as possible to have regular conversations with your teen to maintain communication.

You can also teach her to get out of uncomfortable situations by:

• Refusing directly: “Absolutely not. I don’t want my photos on the internet.”
• Making a joke.
• Making up an excuse: “Sorry, I have to go.”
• Ignoring the person.
• Objecting (insistence is a controlling behaviour).
• Blocking the person.⁴

HOW SHOULD YOU REACT IF YOUR TEEN IS A VICTIM OF ONLINE VIOLENCE?

Whether you are angry, sad, ashamed, anxious or disappointed, it can be very upsetting for parents to learn that their child is a victim of cyberviolence.

🧘‍♀️ Even though it’s not easy, try as much as possible to take the time to take stock of your emotions so you can react appropriately, without dramatizing or trivializing.

🗣 If you find this too difficult, don’t hesitate to talk it over with loved ones or to get help from a health care professional.

💙 In addition, try to listen to your teen as much as possible and let them know that you believe and support them through this ordeal. Criticizing them for their lack of judgment or for not telling you before won’t help your teen and may even end the conversation.

💾 Also, try not to look at the embarrassing photos or messages that were shared, as this could increase your child’s discomfort after they have already suffered great humiliation. On the other hand, you can advise your teen to keep all the evidence so that you can report the attacker(s) to the platform where the violence took place or to the police if you wish to press charges.