How do money problems impact young people's mental health?

Based on an interview with Nathalie Parent, psychologist, author and speaker

At a time when the price of groceries won’t stop rising and reports about an upcoming recession abound in the media, it can be difficult to keep your calm while faced with so much bad news, particularly when you yourself are in a fragile financial situation.

Trouble sleeping, irritability, depression—the list of effects rocky finances can have on an adult’s mental health is long and can weigh heavily on the entire family’s well-being.

To help you deal with your financial hardships while protecting your children’s mental health, here’s some insight from psychologist Nathalie Parent, who specializes in treating stress and anxiety.

How can financial troubles impact both your mental health and the mental health of your family?

If you’re experiencing financial troubles and it’s impacting your well-being, know that you are not alone. According to Leger’s 2022 Financial Stress Index, 38% of Canadians report that money is the biggest source of stress in their lives.

The most common effects of financial troubles are:

stress, anxiety or depression (35%)
marital or relationship problems (15%)
trouble concentrating at work (14%)
family arguments (12%)
substance abuse (4%)

Some parents may be so worried about their financial situation that they may, without realizing it, overlook their child’s distress, worries or successes. This can engender a feeling of abandonment and isolation in their child. At the same time, some young people who no longer have the support of their parents sometimes develop certain behavioural issues.

Other parents may also be more irritable and less patient with their child, which may cause family conflicts or make the child feel like a burden.

Finally, anxiety about the future may sometimes be passed on to the child and make them feel worried in turn. It may also lead to a role reversal where the child feels like they need to protect their parent.

How can you protect your child from your money problems?

Even if you think that it could protect your child, hiding your money problems and your consequential emotional response runs the risk of making things worse.

Think about taking the time to handle your own stress and gather the courage to make an initial assessment of your situation. You might be under so much pressure that you feel a desire to bury your problems to avoid confronting them. Unfortunately, this strategy runs the risk of dragging you into even greater difficulties and having an even greater impact on your mental health. So even if it’s difficult, try to find solutions to help you get out of your predicament. Taking action can help you relieve your anxiety.

Once you have a little more mental space, it may be useful to have a discussion with your child and ask them if they’ve noticed anything different recently, such as decreased spending or shifting moods.

You can then say something general such as:

“I’ve been more preoccupied with our finances lately.”

Then reassure them:

“But I want you to know that I’m taking action to get help.”

You can also invite them to reflect on what they can do to help you lower your expenses for a little while such as:

turning off the lights when they leave a room,
lowering the temperature in a room at night,
taking shorter showers, etc.

What should you do if your child is affected by your poor financial situation?

If you notice that your child’s behaviour has changed, e.g. they sleep less or go out less, you can tell them that you’ve noticed these changes and ask them if it’s related to your money problems. Ask if they’re worrying about it.

If your child says openly that it’s affecting them, you can:

👉 Propose that they speak about the situation with someone else such as:

a school counselor
a grandparent, an uncle or an aunt
an organization like Tel-jeunes or Kids Help Phone

👉 If you feel comfortable enough to listen to them, you can ask them to speak about their fears or how this is affecting them.

Even if it’s painful for you, keep in mind that this is an opportune moment to reflect with your child about how, even if life is full of uncertainty, it’s always possible to bounce back after hard times. You can thus help them become more resilient and more confident about facing challenges in their life.

How can you better handle your mental health when faced with financial troubles?

Wanting to protect your children is only natural, but it is equally important to take care of yourself.

🧘‍♀️ Try to be kind to yourself and avoid getting mad at yourself or dwelling on the past. Doing so can cause you to lose confidence in yourself and can prevent you from moving forward. On the other hand, it can be useful to reflect objectively about things so as to better understand how this situation came about and how you can avoid it happening again.

🗣 Don’t go through it alone: even if your money problems can make you feel ashamed or embarrassed, know that lots of people go through this type of hardship. By speaking with your loved ones, who may themselves be dealing with financial difficulties, you will gain their support to help you through these hard times.

👩🏽‍🤝‍🧑🏿 As much as possible, try to maintain your social and family activities by rethinking them slightly. For example, you can propose sharing the cost of dinner or organize a community potluck. These moments of laughter and sharing will help you lower your stress levels.

💪 Finally, even if you sometimes think your problems are insurmountable, know that there are numerous solutions out there to help you. Don’t lose hope and contact a representative at your Employee and Family Assistance Program (EFAP) and schedule a meeting with a financial advisor.

Here are some other resources to help you through financial difficulties.

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