Adolescence: It’s not a crisis. It’s a normal life stage.
Adolescence: It’s not a crisis. It’s a normal life stage.
CO-AUTHOR: MARIE-ÈVE CARON FROM SANTÉFAMILLE
Adolescence is often perceived as a time of tumultuous change, marked by mood swings and unpredictable or impulsive behaviour. The biological and physical transformations of puberty are accompanied by behavioural and social transformations: Young people may start eating or sleeping more or less, act more emotionally, and test boundaries. These changes are often blamed on the “terrible teens” or hormones.
“They’re going through the terrible teens. All you can do is be patient.”
“Looks like the terrible teens have begun!”
“They’re just being a teenager . . . it’ll pass.”
Parents and adults often write off changes in teens’ behaviour as just part of the terrible teens. This commonly accepted stereotype casts this period of life in a negative light and oversimplifies what is, in fact, a complex reality.
It’s important to remember that most teens go through adolescence without experiencing a crisis.
NO, ADOLESCENCE ISN’T ALWAYS A TIME OF CRISIS
It’s time to change how we view adolescence. 🧐
While adolescence can be full of challenges, it’s also one of life’s most fascinating and complex transitions: a period of accelerated growth and change, second only to early childhood; a time of expanding horizons, self-discovery, and emerging independence; a time of metamorphosis from childhood to adulthood.
Events during this critical formative period can shape the course of an individual’s life. Everyone goes through it with varying degrees of difficulty and intensity, just as we do at other key times in our lives (a new job, new relationships at work, moving to a new home, having kids, changing social or romantic relationships, loss of a loved one, etc.).
“TERRIBLE TEENS” OR PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS?
There can be an unconscious tendency to downplay the difficult moments of adolescence as “just a phase.” By labelling any behaviour considered unusual as part of the “terrible teens,” we risk ignoring the real distress and mental health challenges that, if unaddressed, may worsen over time.
Psychological distress is at the heart of most problems experienced during adolescence. In Quebec today, more than a third of teenagers say they suffer from such distress.
But how do you distinguish between “normal” adolescent behaviour, a bout of the blues, and psychological distress?
Find out more in this articleHOW TO GET HELP
If you’re in a crisis situation where a young person is at risk of harming themselves:
- Call the Suicide Prevention Centre of Montreal at 1-866-277-3553. Your call will automatically be forwarded to a local resource in your area (free, confidential, and available 24/7).
- Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
For non-urgent mental health problems, call Info-Santé 811, option 2, to quickly reach an expert in psychosocial intervention.
HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT TEENS THROUGH ADOLESCENCE?
🤝Parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers, caregivers, coaches, and health professionals together make up a wide safety net* for teens. This means each one of us has a role to play in helping them transition through this time in a positive manner and intervene effectively when challenges arise.
*The safety net represents any adult who may exert an influence on a teen’s life (teacher, direct parent, family member, coach, etc.). Informally it refers to any person in the teen’s life, outside of the teen’s close circle, who has a duty of protection.
🤸♀️ Giving young people the space to safely discover and explore all these new opportunities is essential to their ability to develop in a healthy way.
💙 Being present, attentive, curious, and ready to engage in non-judgmental, caring conversations will help you create a bond of trust and support them through these turbulent years.
Discover our tips for supporting young people as they develop their autonomy 👉 in this article.
Adolescence is full of decisions involving lifestyle habits, choosing friends, balancing fun and homework, deciding on an academic path, using social media, trying different substances for the first time, and so on. Discover our advice for helping young people make informed choices 👉 in this article.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Avoid using the expression “terrible teens” and use more neutral language like “adolescence” instead.
• Stop yourself when you feel the urge to dismiss a teen’s behaviour as “teenage rebellion” or “just them being a teen.” Instead, take the time to find out what’s really going on and what might be behind their behaviour. Observe their behaviour and start up a conversation.
• It’s important to recognize and validate a teen’s feelings. Above all, do not trivialize, minimize, or ridicule them. Validating their emotions doesn’t mean agreeing with what’s going on; it simply means acknowledging their state of mind. It might not seem like a big deal, but trust us—it goes a long way in helping to create a positive relationship with the teens in your life!
• Time, patience, curiosity, openness, and kindness are the secrets to building and maintaining trust with young people. Teens need to feel seen and heard as they are, through an unbiased lens.
• And remember, you were once a teenager too! 😉
Below is a list of our resources that will help you develop a positive relationship with the teens in your life and prevent psychological distress:
Building a better relationship with your teen through mentalization
Through concrete examples of situations at home, discover how to apply mentalization, a super-effective tool for cultivating healthy relationships with others and with yourself.
Alarming behaviour in teenagers: When to worry
How can you tell if your teen is just feeling down or if they’re suffering from depression? What are the symptoms of depression? And what can you do to help?
Read article
Open the conversation with your teen to help them confide
Here are some pointers that can help you support your teen in times of distress.
Parental attitude with a teen
Some advice to maintain a good relationship with your teen, communicate well, set clear expectations, resolve conflicts etc.
My teen won't talk to me: What can I do?
A few tips to give you a new perspective and to help you engage with your teen.
Are you unknowingly a toxic parent?
Read more to better understand and recognize toxic parenting and its impact on mental health, so you can avoid adopting these behaviours with the teen in your life.
Silent education
Learn more about your influence over your teen’s behaviour and decision-making.
Family Toolkit: Resources to help a teenager
Simple information and practical advice to help parents better understand adolescence and psychological distress, without prejudices or taboos. Useful resources to help support a young person through any challenges that may arise.
Visit Family Toolkit
Concerned that your teen might need some help? Don’t know where to turn or what to do?
Here are some resources to help you handle the situation and find solutions.
Sources
Youth in Mind Foundation and Nathalie Parent. Responding to a student in psychological distress.
National Research Council (US) and Institute of Medicine (US) Forum on Adolescence; Kipke MD, editor. Risks and Opportunities: Synthesis of Studies on Adolescence. National Academies Press, 1999. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK225165/
Kattar, A. “Adolescence terminée, adolescence interminable?” Carrefours de l’éducation 50, no.2 (2020): 11-20. DOI 10.3917/cdle.050.0011
Valls, M. “La crise d’adolescence : entre mythe et réalité”. L’Éducateur 7 (2024): 14-16. http://hdl.handle.net/20.500.12162/7658
Généreux, M. Enquête menée par l’Université de Sherbrooke sur la santé psychologique des 12 à 25 ans. Université de Sherbrooke, 2023. https://reussirestrie.ca/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/RAPPORT_mai_2023_vf.pdf
Brown, Brené. The gifts of imperfection: 10th Anniversary Edition. Simon and Schuster, 2022.
Ohayon, A. “L’adolescence, crise individuelle, familiale ou sociale?” Nouvelle revue de psychosociologie 1, no. 31 (2021): 27-38. DOI 10.3917/nrp.031.0027
SantéFamille is an online organization whose educational mission is to empower families to maintain good mental health through learning and sharing.