How do you manage difficulties in life?

When you face challenges, your teen sees how you manage them and will likely mimic that same behaviour when they are going through a difficult time. 

So, how can you be a positive influence on your young person?

• Try to remain resilient: when you are dealing with a problem, you can show your teen how you look for solutions. When they see that you solve your problems and don’t get discouraged, they will tend to go into solution mode when they are facing a challenge.
• Don’t feel guilty: If you don’t always succeed, remember that you’re human and that everyone goes through difficult times. The important thing is to remember that you will have other opportunities to do better.

How is your relationship with yourself and others?

Believe it or not, your self-confidence and trust in others also influence your teen’s self-confidence.

Self-confidence

Your teen will pick up on and be influenced by your self-confidence (or lack thereof), but they will also notice if you’re “faking it till you make it.” It might be useful to reflect on your own self-confidence, as it might influence that of your teen. If you notice that you don’t have much of it, try reflecting on why that might be and working on yourself to improve it. In the meantime, be lenient with yourself and don’t hesitate to talk openly about it with your teen. 

Trust in others

Whether you are with friends, colleagues, or your family, your young person is observing you and learning from your interactions. Know that it’s human to sometimes have trouble staying calm when a conflict breaks out. If this happens in front of your teen, you can talk about it with them later on to explain what happened and share the solutions you found so that you can do better next time. That way, you’ll help them understand that it’s possible to solve interpersonal problems by listening to others, trusting them, and finding solutions together. 

Try to be consistent in your actions and words

We’ve all had a boss who gives an order one day and takes it back the next. Think about how confused you’ve felt when that’s happened to you. Your teen might feel the same way when there is a lack of consistency between your actions and words. 

We know: It’s very hard to be consistent all the time. However, it’s important to be as consistent as possible by trying to align your words, behaviour, and decisions with your values and your expectations for your teen. And when you fail to do so, don’t stress—laugh about it with them and openly admit that learning is a lifelong effort!