TAKING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TO HEART
Toxic conflict and domestic violence
TAKING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TO HEART
Toxic conflict and domestic violence
Author: Stéphanie Deslauriers, psychoeducator
Did you know that not agreeing with your boyfriend or girlfriend 100% of the time is perfectly normal? And that the same goes for your friends, family members, coworkers, etc.?
Some conflict is constructive—when everyone involved is able to express themselves in a healthy way, assert their opinions, and come up with solutions together.
But sometimes, conflict starts to become more frequent or more intense. It may also become more disrespectful—when one person makes hurtful or demeaning comments (verbal abuse), discredits their partner’s emotions, reacts with sarcasm, or purposefully makes the other person doubt what they’re thinking or feeling.
Toxic conflict paves the way for psychological abuse. What can you do when this happens? This article explains how to assess potentially abusive situations and provides some helpful resources.
IS IT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
According to the Éducaloi website, domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence) “occurs between people who are or who have been in an intimate relationship. […] This type of violence can occur at any age and often involves an imbalance of power in the relationship. The abuser will typically use different strategies to control the victim, including insults, threats, or intimidation.”
Understanding domestic violence
Try this interactive simulator that lets you engage in hypothetical chats illustrating abusive behaviour.
Taking stock of your situation
Think you might be in an abusive situation? Take this self-assessment.
A few examples of inflicted or experienced violence:
- I was criticized for my physical appearance; I was insulted in front of others; I was put down.
- My comings and goings, electronic chats or cell phone were monitored; I was prevented from seeing friends.
- I was forced to kiss or caress my partner against my will.
- Something was thrown at me that could have injured me.
- I was grabbed, pushed, or shoved.
- I was slapped.
- I was punched, kicked, or injured by an object or weapon.
- I was sexually coerced against my will.
Source: Statistique Québec
Do you think you’re in a domestic violence relationship?
Do you have someone you trust that you can talk to about it?
Know that you deserve a respectful, healthy, and positive romantic relationship. 🥰
Never hesitate to talk about what you’re going through and what you’re feeling with a friend, a trusted adult, or a qualified school counsellor. 🙌
ResourcesNEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH?
Talk to a Tel-Jeunes worker: it’s anonymous, free, and available 24/7