Understanding what’s going on inside your head
Suicidal thoughts
Understanding what’s going on inside your head
Suicidal thoughts
Reviewed by Suicide Action Montréal
Are you going through a hard time and unable to shake your distress, to the point that you sometimes think about suicide? Or are you worried about a loved one and wondering how to help them?
Here’s some advice to help you better understand suicidal thoughts and what resources to turn to for help.
What is suicide?
Contrary to what you might believe, someone who tries to commit suicide doesn’t necessarily want to end their life. What they’re trying to end is their unbearable suffering. It’s not courageous or cowardly. It’s a desperate attempt to end their misery.
The good news is that there are many ways to find relief.
Learn what you can we do about depression
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS? 🧠
Suicidal thoughts are a warning sign. They can pop up in moments of crisis, when the suffering becomes too intense, or as a result of a trigger that’s specific to the person in distress.
When a person experiences suicidal ideation, dark thoughts, or ambivalent feelings about attempting to end their life, it doesn’t mean that they truly want to stop living. It is, however, a red flag that must be taken seriously.
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT SOMEONE’S THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE? 😟
It’s important to know the warning signs of distress and pay close attention so you can recognize them in yourself and others. By educating yourself, you’ll be able act quickly and prevent the situation from getting worse. Warning signs may look like this:
- Concerning remarks—Suicidal ideation can be expressed through remarks like these:
“You’d be better off without me.”
“You’ll be rid of me soon.”
“I don’t want to live anymore.”
“I’m going to end it all.”
“I want to die.”
“They’ll regret it. They’ll see …” - An interest in or attraction to things relating to death
- A sudden or radical change in behaviour:
👉 Negative changes: someone who is generally happy starts to withdraw, act depressed, aggressive and/or angry, becomes defensive, etc.
👉 Falsely positive changes: someone who’s been sad for a while starts to act cheerful, make plans with friends, and resumes what appears to be a normal life, despite there being no real change to their situation. In reality, they may have found a kind of peace by developing a plan to end their suffering. Remain vigilant!
Have you been feeling down lately? Have questions about what you’re going through?
Start by taking stock of your mental health with this practical assessment tool by suicide.ca :
Take my self-assessment
HOW TO TALK ABOUT YOUR DISTRESS WITH LOVED ONES OR A PROFESSIONAL AT SCHOOL 🤔
It can be hard to talk about how you’re struggling. You might be afraid of being judged, of worrying or disappointing those around you, or that the whole school will find out. Maybe you think it won’t change anything. All these fears are completely normal—but you need to push past them, because talking is the FIRST step towards getting better. It’s important not to feel alone in your distress. There are solutions that will help!
Starting the conversation 🗣WHAT TO DO IF YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT A FRIEND 👩🏽🤝🧑🏿
•Mention your concerns: Stick to the facts and explain why you believe they’re struggling. For example, you could say: “You don’t seem interested in this thing you used to love.” You can also ask them questions about how they feel, like “Why are you thinking like this?” or “Do you ever think about dying?”
💡 By talking about suicide with your friend, you won’t be encouraging them to act on their thoughts. On the contrary, starting the discussion can be a relief; it can make them feel less alone and let them know that the people around them care about their well-being.
• Encourage them to reach out to a support service, or go with them to see a mental health professional.
👉 Here are some resources you can turn to: mental health resources
⚠ If you’re supporting someone who’s having suicidal thoughts, it’s important to know your limits!
If you don’t feel equipped to help someone or if the situation becomes too much of an emotional burden for you, don’t hesitate to share some resources with them or tell them that you feel unable to help right now. It’s important to take care of yourself.
👇 Download this sheet from Suicide Action Montréal to learn what to say (and not say) when talking to someone about suicide.
How to talk about suicide❌WHAT TO DO IF YOUR FRIEND REVEALS THAT THEY’RE THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE AND ASKS YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE
If you’re worried about what your friend has told you, you need to be up front with them. Tell them that you’re going to get help from someone anyway because you’re very concerned. It’s important that they get the help they need. You don’t want to risk the situation getting worse. It’s also important for you, as their friend, to have support.
🤔WHAT IF THEY THREATEN TO COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU SAY SOMETHING?
When someone confides in you, it’s natural to feel a certain responsibility. The important thing in these situations is to seek help anyways. Remember that someone who is having suicidal thoughts is no longer able to see a way out of their problems, even if there are solutions available.
Your friend might be angry in the moment, but asking for help doesn’t mean you’re betraying them. These are very difficult situations that need expert guidance. A professional will know how to support your friend and find ways to help them get better. Once things improve, there’s a very good chance that your friend will understand why you spoke up💙.
WATCH THIS VIDEO TO HEAR MCKENZIE AND MARTA’S STORIES AND LEARN HOW YOU CAN HELP A FRIEND IN NEED AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
IMPORTANT!
If you’re in crisis and feel like you might harm yourself, or if someone you’re worried about tells you that they have a specific plan* to commit suicide, the situation is urgent.
Don’t wait:
📞call 1-866-277-3553, go to suicide.ca, or text 535353 and you’ll be referred to your local prevention centre. If you’re in Montreal, you’ll be referred to Suicide Action Montréal. Their services are available 24/7 and anything you say will remain confidential.
📞call 911
*A specific plan involves three elements: place, method, and time.
External resources that suit your needs
Are you worried about a loved one? → Here are some tools to help
To learn how to talk about suicide → Visit the Association québécoise de prévention du suicide website
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With our partner
Suicide Action Montréal (SAM) believes that suicide is preventable. Its mission is to help prevent these incidents through greater access to information, quality services, and resources. SAM recognizes that suicide prevention is a process and provides direct support to those who are lonely, depressed, and contemplating suicide. SAM also assists those left behind by suicide, including families and loved ones, support workers, and/or other professionals involved. The strength of these services relies on the commitment of dedicated paid staff and highly trained volunteers. SAM continues to build its expertise through evidence-based research and learning from other community organizations.