TAKING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TO HEART

Managing heartbreak

TAKING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH TO HEART

Managing heartbreak

Author: Stéphanie Deslauriers, psychoeducator

Wanting to love and be loved is natural and completely normal! But sometimes, getting there is more complicated than you thought it would be. 😳 

If you’re experiencing heartbreak or want to help a friend who is, this article is for you. Keep reading to learn more.

Expectations for your first romantic relationship

You’ve been exposed to romantic love stories in books and Disney films since childhood. So it’s not surprising that you might idealize romantic relationships and expect butterflies and the whole range of intense emotions that come with love. 

But in real life, you may have to face heartbreak. Maybe your crush doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, or you and your partner break up after dating for a while. 💔 

Breakups

Breakups

Have you ever gone through a breakup? It’s an intense and heart-wrenching experience. It doesn’t matter whether you decided to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend or the other way around; it’s never easy. 😔 

You may feel like no one understands, like you’re alone in the world and that your life is meaningless. 

Everyone experiences romantic disappointment differently, and some people may bounce back quicker than others. But it’s important not to compare yourself to other people and to deal with your emotions in your own way. 

The best way to move past an emotion, whatever it may be, is to accept your feelings for what they are, without judgment. Here’s an example: 

“I’m aware that I’m feeling sadness, disappointment and a sense of injustice. All these feelings are uncomfortable, but I know that it’s temporary and that it will pass.” 

And your feelings will pass. Will it be instant? No. But with time things will get better. Focus on spending time with people who make you feel good and doing what you love to do, whether it’s writing, listening to music, reading, watching a good movie, or unwinding through sports. Remember that all those feelings are still inside you and that sometimes, you’ll need to stop and give yourself space to feel them and let them out. Think of a sandcastle on the shore that slowly gets washed away by the waves until it disappears completely. Your sadness is the sandcastle, and time is the water. It may take awhile, but the pain of your heartbreak will lessen and you’ll eventually feel better. 

Boost your self-esteem

When your boyfriend or girlfriend moves on, it’s normal to feel sad and maybe even rejected. Experiencing rejection can be hard on your self-esteem—you might be tempted to isolate, and your self-confidence may take a hit. But there are a few things you can do to boost your self-esteem after a breakup: 

  • Focus on people who are there for you, like your friends and family
  • Remind yourself of your qualities and skills: Are you generous? Are you good at a sport or in a certain school subject?
  • Do activities you enjoy and that make you feel good: draw, listen to music, go shopping with friends, etc.

NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH?

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