Getting better
MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS IN A CRISIS
Getting better
MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS IN A CRISIS
Authors: AMÉLIE SEIDAH, PHD, and ISABELLE GENINET, PHD, PSYCHOLOGISTS
September 2020
We all have to deal with unpleasant emotions in our daily lives. But have you ever felt like you were having a full-on anxiety or panic attack, been overwhelmed by sadness or pain, or felt like you were being swept away by a tsunami of emotions? If so, you can rest assured that you’re not alone.
Why do we feel these overwhelming emotions?
Some difficult life events can provoke especially strong emotional reactions:
- The death of a loved one
- Our parents divorcing
- A breakup
- Being rejected by someone we love
- The death of a pet
- Any other event that causes a sudden change or loss in our lives
When we experience a crisis, we go through a kind of mourning, and this can bring on a torrent of emotions that are often hard to control. You may feel distraught, powerless, fragile, and alone. Remember that these reactions are normal, healthy, and entirely necessary—we need to feel these emotions so that we can adapt to the situation we’re going through. But in the moment, they’re intense and they’re painful.
What can we do in moments of extreme distress?
Imagine that you’re standing outside when a storm hits, and after a few moments, you’re completely drenched. Your first instinct would be to find shelter and wait out the storm. Getting mad at yourself for having gone outside without an umbrella, or without checking the weather, wouldn’t do you any good. Beating up on yourself—on top of being drenched by the rain—would only serve to make a bad situation even worse, right?
Sometimes, when your emotions get the best of you, the best thing to do is indeed to wait out the storm. Try to avoid doing the following:
- Jumping into problem-solving mode right away
- Judging yourself for your own vulnerability
- Falling prey to catastrophic thinking such as “I’ll never get out of this”
Remember that these big emotions won’t last forever and that you need to accept them and let yourself feel them fully. In times of crisis, your goal is first and foremost to ease your own pain by calming yourself, finding comfort, and getting grounded.
The guide below has tips to help you weather the next storm:
View the guide
PUT TOGETHER A TOOLBOX OF STRATEGIES YOU CAN USE IN A CRISIS
It’s a good idea to have a few simple strategies to fall back on when you’re going through a crisis.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, and some approaches might not work for you. On the other hand, if you’ve noticed that any specific actions or ways of thinking have helped you in the past, then by all means, don’t hesitate to add them to your toolbox.
This list may also inspire you to think of other ideas. Remember: self-soothing strategies won’t make your feelings or problems go away. They just help you find a moment of calm in the storm.
View strategiesREMEMBER
Once you’ve recentred and brought the intensity of your emotions down, you might be tempted to start problem solving. This is a good instinct, but don’t rush into it. Just remember to take things one step at a time, and make sure the storm has passed first.
Need to talk about how you feel?
Talk to a Tel-Jeunes worker: it’s anonymous, free, and available 24/7
Learn about the contributor’s book
Tout savoir pour composer avec les turbulences à l’adolescence – Psychologists
Isabelle Geninet & Amélie Seidah, PH.D.
This practical guide aims to help teens get to know themselves better, develop better critical thinking and improve their self-observation skills. Using concrete strategies and helpful advice, teens will learn how to cultivate a positive attitude (e.g. openness, curiosity, flexibility) and, above all, understand the importance of taking action. And this, in turn, will help them feel better equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs… and cope with the emotional turbulence of adolescence!
BUY THE BOOK ↗
Our partner
Les Éditions Midi trente offers practical books and helpful intervention tools aimed at helping people young and old overcome challenges and foster their potential.