HELPING TEENS STAY BALANCED
Helping Your Teen Make Informed Choices
HELPING TEENS STAY BALANCED
Helping Your Teen Make Informed Choices
Reviewed by Geneviève Woods, mental health counsellor and trainer, mother of 4
Every day, our lives are marked by events that require decision-making. For your teen, whose brain is developing at a very rapid pace, making choices can be uniquely challenging.
Teens have to make all kinds of choices: from lifestyle habits and friends, to balancing recreational activities and schoolwork, choosing an academic path, using social media, and being exposed to and experimenting with substances.
As a parent, what can you do to guide your child and help them make informed choices? Read on for our practical advice!
WHY DO TEENS MAKE SEEMINGLY CARELESS OR IMPULSIVE CHOICES?
It’s important to keep in mind that your child’s ability to reason is different from that of an adult, and that’s quite normal. From your teenage years up to the age of 25, your brain is in a dynamic state and constantly growing. This explains certain teenage behaviours, such as impulsiveness and letting emotions prevail over reason.
In fact, our emotional centre (the limbic system) develops well ahead of our cognitive centre (the prefrontal cortex), which is the last to fully develop. Our prefrontal cortex helps us consider the consequences of our actions and control our emotions, reactions, and behaviour.
That is why, when it comes to making choices, adults tend to take time to reflect, whereas a teen’s brain is at a developmental stage that works in the now!
Over time, young people mature and learn to make more carefully considered decisions, weigh all sides of a situation before acting, and avoid taking unnecessary risks.
To learn more about the role of the brain in your teen’s decision-making process, click here. You can also have your teen watch this video🧠.
The good news is that you can help your child develop their decision-making ability, which is essential for their well-being and the future adult they will become👨💼👩💼.
WHAT DOES ``MAKING AN INFORMED CHOICE`` MEAN?
Making an informed choice doesn’t necessarily mean making “the right decision.”
It means exercising good judgment and taking into consideration the full range of possibilities, while being aware of their consequences for you and others—not only in the present moment, but also in the short, medium, and long term.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP YOUR CHILD MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS
Helping your teen know themselves better and maintaining their trust are two basic and effective approaches.
✔ Helping your teen take stock of what matters to them
Understanding their unique personality, strengths, values, needs, and bounderies, and how they respond to challenges are essential elements that, when developed, will help your child make choices that resonate with who they are.
By being clear about their dreams and goals, your child will be able to picture themselves in the near or distant future and make choices that will help them move closer to that vision.
👉 To help your child clarify their values, have them complete this worksheet.
👉 Helping your teen become more familiar with their personal strengths will also help them better understand what tools and limitations exist when dealing with challenges, which will help safeguard their their self-esteem. We have a practical exercise to help them identify their individual strengths: download the “My Personal Strengths” student sheet.
👉 Being able to identify and express their boundaries will also improve their capacity for self-affirmation, self-respect, and respect for others. To learn more, click here.
Here’s a video that explains how identifying our own limits allows us to focus on our strengths and accept who we are.
👉 To help your teen (re)connect with themselves and become aware how they feel in the present moment, introduce them to mindfulness.
Mindfulness will improve your child’s ability to plan their actions (and understand their consequences) and will help them become less impulsive and make better decisions. As an adult, you can also benefit from mindfulness!
🧘♀️ Download our mini-guide and round up the family for a mindfulness session!
✔Cultivate a positive relationship with your teen every day
As a parent, you influence your teen’s behaviour and their decision-making, which is why it is so important to maintain a relationship of trust and open communication with them.
To help your child make informed choices, it’s crucial that you support them as they develop their independence, all while still respecting their choices. This vital parentling skill requires learning how to intervene wisely and with sensitivity.
Here are a few ways to become a positive, constructive force in your teen’s life:
🌎 Don’t overprotect your child, believe in their potential. Allow and encourage them to have new experiences.
🙆♂️ Let them make some mistakes. Explore together how mistakes can help them better assess risk and contribute to their growth and development.
🚁 Avoid “helicopter parenting.” Doing so could cause your teen to put themselves in risky situations in an attempt to push the limits of what they weren’t allowed to explore under your supervision.
💙 Be open-minded and welcome discussion to give your child space to express their views. By listening to them without judging or lecturing, your child will be more likely to confide in you again. Remind your teen that you’re always there for them. Use supportive expressions like “I’m here for you” or “When you feel ready, come see me.”
But remember—giving them more independence doesn’t mean zero limits or supervision. Quite the contrary! 👉 Find more advice about fostering your teen’s autonomy and helping them manage risk here.
WHEN YOU DISAGREE WITH YOUR CHILD’S CHOICES
It’s completely normal for you and your teen to have differences of opinion and different ways of perceiving and analyzing things. Even though your rules and supervision are in place to protect them, your teen doesn’t always understand the reason for them and may tend to get upset. How can you work through this type of conflict while protecting your relationship with your teen?
This resource offers you 6 tips for resolving conflicts effectively. 👉 Handling conflict effectively
👉 In this video, families share testimonials and valuable advice to smooth over your relationship.
Lastly, trust yourself. The climate that you create will affect your child’s ability to make informed decisions and will help you maintain a healthy relationship. 😉
NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH WITH YOUR TEEN?
Contact Tel-jeunes Parents for free, professional support, 24/7