Recognizing psychological distress
Understanding Self-Harm in Teens
Recognizing psychological distress
Understanding Self-Harm in Teens
Author:
Vanessa Germain, PhD, psychologist
Self-harm, also called self-mutilation and self-injury, is the act of deliberately hurting oneself, and is a particularly confusing and scary topic for parents of teens. While often seen as an extreme and marginal behaviour, self-harm is actually more common than most people would expect. Today, it is estimated that 15 to 20 percent of teenagers have engaged in some form of self-harm at least once between the ages of 11 and 15.
Who’s at risk?
Teenagers who are most likely to engage in this type of behaviour are those who:
• find it difficult to manage their emotions;
• have suffered a relationship break-up or conflict, or;
• have experienced child abuse or childhood trauma.
Self-harm is also common among teens diagnosed with anxiety disorders, depression, eating disorders, or borderline personality disorder.
Is self-harm a reckless act?
A teen who turns to self-harm is in fact trying to expose their emotional suffering. Although it’s often incorrectly associated with suicidal thoughts, self-harm is first and foremost a way of dealing with and communicating emotions.
There are several reasons why teens might self-harm:
• To make their loved ones aware of their distress and distract themselves from the painful emotions they’re unable to express
• To express or communicate an emotion, as though the extent of their suffering makes it too hard to find the words to express it in a healthier way
• To punish themselves for what they see as failures
• To feel something, anything, to escape from feeling numb or cut off from their emotions or from reality
Did you know?
Self-harm releases an endorphin that is shown to relieve pain and have a soothing effect. This helps explain why some people say they feel better after inflicting self-harm.
Signs to look for
While it’s not always easy to know if a teenager is engaging in self-harm, you should keep an eye out for the following behaviours:
Signs to look for
While it’s not always easy to know if a teenager is engaging in self-harm, you should keep an eye out for the following behaviours:
What to do if your teen is engaging in self-harm 🤔
As a parent, learning that your teenager is engaging in self-harming behaviour can come as a huge shock that can trigger anxiety, worry, sadness, guilt, and a sense of helplessness. Some parents might even feel disgust or anger. Know that all of these reactions are perfectly normal and valid.
Here’s some advice on how to best manage the situation:
• Try to remain as calm as you can and refrain from judging or laying blame; your teen needs to feel that you understand that they’re suffering.
• Communicate with them in a constructive, caring, and calm manner so that they know they can trust you and come to you for help.
• Don’t try to hide dangerous objects. They’ll simply find others, or might even turn to more extreme measures.
• Encourage your teen to talk to a psychotherapist, as their behaviour could be a symptom of a more complex issue.
Let’s focus on prevention!
The best way to prevent teen self-harm is to:
- Teach your teen to manage their emotions and anxiety from a young age.
- Encourage your teen to talk about their concerns and challenges.
- Identify their triggers so that you can help prevent it.
For more information, read the articles below on our website or contact a healthcare professional.
Meditation, mindfulness, and mentalization: everyday tools for teens →
Talking to teens: How to maintain a good relationship →
Resources for helping teens with depression or psychological distress →
Resources:
- Kids Help Phone: Self-injury: What it is and how to cope
- Self-injury Outreach and Support: Their website features personal stories and resources to cope with thoughts of self-harm
- ANEB (Anorexie et boulimie Québec): This organization offers a helpline, reference service, online support, support groups, forums, etc.
Need to talk about what you're going through with your teenager?
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About the author’s book, L’automutilation chez l’adolescent et le jeune adulte (available in French)
Finding out that someone you care about is deliberately hurting themselves can be very upsetting. Family members often experience a great deal of anxiety and helplessness and may not know how to react.
This book offers some insight into the act of self-harm by providing clear answers to ten frequently asked questions. What’s more, it outlines proven strategies and courses of action to provide better support for teens and help them safely and effectively overcome their challenges.
This guide offers reassurance and answers for parents and caregivers concerned about teens and self-harm.
Buy the book ↗
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