HELPING TEENS STAY BALANCED
The first steps in the world of work
HELPING TEENS STAY BALANCED
The first steps in the world of work
Author:
Nathalie Parent, psychologist
Your teen wants to get their first job, but you have concerns. Will their school performance suffer? Are they too young? Will it be good for them or even motivate them? How many hours per week would be best? How can you help them maintain a work-life balance? Let’s take a look at a few points to consider and, most importantly, how to prepare.
Getting a first job can be very educational and beneficial for the mental health of a teen. It can have a positive impact on their:
- Autonomy (emotional, financial, personal, interpersonal)
- Confidence
- Self-esteem
Working can provide a teen with fulfillment, a sense of meaning in their life, and direction and motivation for their future. However, it’s important to ensure that their basic needs (rest and sleep, nutrition, social and emotional life, autonomy, and independence) continue to be met so that work doesn’t make them more vulnerable to physical or psychological exhaustion.
REFLECT ON YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES
Take a few minutes to think about the first job or jobs you had when you were young:
- What was it like for you?
- Was it a positive experience?
- What memories do you have of it?
- How many hours did you work?
- If you could do it over, what would you change and why?
It’s important to ask yourself these questions because, generally speaking, parents tend to project their own desires onto their children. If you had a positive job experience as a teen, you may want to relive the experience or want your child to have the same experience as you. On the other hand, if you had a difficult time in your first job, you might feel a need to protect your child by holding them back (whether you realize it or not), without taking the time to listen to them or take their real needs into consideration.
This introspection will put you in a better position to see your child as they are, with their own personality, needs, and limitations.
CONSIDER YOUR OWN VALUES AND YOUR CHILD’S VALUES
To guide your teen without being influenced by your own biases, it’s a good idea to think about your own values regarding your child and work.
What’s most important for you?
- Your child’s studies
- The money they will earn
- Being a hard worker
- Their autonomy
If you prioritize money, for instance, you may push your child to start working early and save money.
If you put academics first, you may try to discourage your child from getting a job. On the other hand, if autonomy is a priority, you may be supportive of their desire to work.
To better understand your child, talk with them about where you each stand with respect to these aspects of their life.
In addition, observe your teen and consider how the people in their life (teachers, family, friends) would describe them. Are they:
- Hard-working: always ready to jump into action, to do more, to take on a task
- Studious: loves school, likes to learn, wants to go to university
- A saver or a spender: likes to save money or likes to have pocket money to spend without having to ask for it (financial autonomy)
After completing this exercise, you may realize that your child seems very different from you. If that’s the case, you should adjust your expectations.
HELPING YOUR TEEN BALANCE WORK AND SCHOOL
Another factor to consider is whether your child will have enough time/capacity for a job with their current school schedule: how many hours do they need to set aside a week for schoolwork in order to meet their program requirements?
Even if a teen is very motivated to work, it may not be easy to balance a job with the time needed for their studies. However, some teens tend to finish schoolwork and other tasks quickly and may be able to hold down a job even if their academic program is very demanding.
By talking these things over with your teen, you’ll be able to identify their needs and limitations. Sometimes, it’s possible to start with a work schedule with a set number of hours and make adjustments from there. And don’t hesitate to remind them to take care of their body’s (and brain’s) basic needs: eating, drinking, sleeping, and resting. Will they have enough time in their schedule for all of them?
SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD IN THEIR FIRST JOB SEARCH
Supporting your child doesn’t mean doing it for them. Autonomy is a very valuable asset for their future. You can brainstorm with them about what kind of job they want (taking transportation and your limitations into consideration) and you can suggest places to apply, but they need to make the final decision on their own.
Of course, you’ll need to help your child write their resume and cover letter. Many templates are available online, and some high school classes teach teens how to prepare them.
Depending on your child’s age and level of autonomy, you may need to accompany them when they go to fill out a job application, ask about job openings (in person or over the phone), or give their resume to a business. Of course, the goal is for your teen to do these things by themself, so you can support them by letting them take the lead and showing them you’re confident in their abilities. Another approach is to take things step by step: Stay with your teen the first time they apply for a job, then let them handle it on their own the second time.
Advice for your teen’s first job
SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR
In the fact sheet below, you will find a list of signs to watch out for to prevent physical and psychological exhaustion in your working teen.
Watching out for your child doesn’t mean controlling them. Because adolescence is a period of transition to adult life, it’s in your best interest to encourage your child to think about the limitations of their body. Don’t hesitate to tell your teen what you have noticed (observable facts) and share your concerns. Then, check with them to see what they can change to improve the situation or if they might need help in doing so.
Signs to watch out for to avoid physical and psychological exhaustion in your working teenagerNEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH WITH YOUR TEENAGER?
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