Getting help
Talking About Psychotherapy with Your Teen
Getting help
Talking About Psychotherapy with Your Teen
AUTHOR: Nathalie Parent, psychologist
Adolescence is a period of transition. It brings about many physical, psychological, and social changes that cause major remodelling in the brains of teens. All of these changes make them more vulnerable to psychological distress.
Sometimes, when a teen is going through a particularly difficult time, they may need to see a psychotherapist.
But how do you discuss this with them?
Breaking down fears with real life examples
When you want to talk to a teen who’s struggling about beginning therapy, it can be easier if mention that you’ve gone through it yourself or seen the benefits of therapy in others.
For example, you could say:
“You know, Amélie saw a therapist for the same kind of problem and it really seemed to help. Do you want to look together at finding a psychologist for you? You could even talk to Amélie about it if you want.”
Or:
“I know that what you’re feeling is painful. I’m sure you want to feel better and I don’t think I can give you all the help you need, but I’m sure a professional can. We could look together for a psychologist that works for you, how does that sound? Take some time to think about it.”
You may need to bring it up a few times like this for your teen to decide. Respect their pace, as long as their life or development is not at risk.
Give control to your teen to maintain trust
Because adolescence is a time when a person’s autonomy is developing, it’s crucial that you involve your teen in any processes or decisions that concern them and that you have their agreement.
For example, if you plan on talking to a practitioner or teacher about them, you can preserve the bond of trust by asking them what they think and whether there’s anything they’d prefer you keep confidential.
If you think it’s best to discuss it, explain to them the importance of the duty you have as an adult and parent. What’s important is to not decide for them in order to make them feel that they’re capable of making decisions, reflecting on things, and putting themself on the path to their adult life.
In more serious cases, such as when their judgment is altered or their life and/or development is at risk, you don’t need their consent to take action.
Hospitalization may be required, but there are many steps that can be taken before you reach that point.
Take stock of your own prejudices
There are still many prejudices about mental health struggles. Feelings of shame, guilt, or weakness are common. Sometimes, people even have trouble taking the psychological suffering of others seriously, even though it’s as important and real as physical suffering.
Would you doubt your child if they came to you with a broken leg? Would you say they’re weak and fragile because they had a sprain or developed psoriasis or diabetes?
Don’t hesitate to use these examples when you talk to your teen about psychological distress.
We’re all at risk of experiencing mental difficulties, just like any physical illness, even if we know that many protective factors exist.
Are you supporting someone who’s struggling with a mental illness?
Don’t do it on your own—consider getting help for yourself too.
RESOURCES FOR HELPING TEENS WITH DEPRESSION OR PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESSNeed to talk about what you're going through with your teenager?
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