WHAT IS ACADEMIC SUCCESS? 🎓

Your child’s academic success is measured through their academic results; but success also depends on a number of social and psychological factors that are easy to overlook. 

School is more than a place where kids go to learn: it’s also where they spend a lot of their time! In order to learn, students need to be emotionally available. If they’re very anxious, worried about conflict with their friends, or feel isolated, they won’t be in a good position to learn. A teen with few meaningful social connections, or who is experiencing psychological distress at school, may start to skip classes or see their grades drop, and may even be at risk of dropping out. 

MY TEEN HAS PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. HOW CAN I HELP THEM COPE?

Grades are a significant source of school-related stress. Your teen may be afraid of failing, or worry about not meeting your expectations—or even their own. As a parent, there are things you can do to ease their anxiety and improve their well-being at school. 

📑 Put grades into perspective

Your teen’s grades are important, in that they allow them to advance from one grade to the next. However, their grades don’t dictate how successful they will be in life. Furthermore, a teen who gets lower grades isn’t necessarily unintelligent or lazy. 

🏃‍♀️ Encourage effort

It’s virtually impossible to succeed at everything in life. Focusing on your child’s effort (and encouraging them to do the same) is a powerful way to nurture their sense of competency and achievement without pressuring them to perform. Rather than concentrating on their result, try asking them if they gave it their all. Note the  progress or improvement they’ve made and ask them if they’re proud of themself. You can then go over their work as a way to learn and progress, but don’t fall into giving unconstructive criticism. 

💪 Emphasize their other strengths

Teenagers who struggle with academics aren’t just afraid of failing; they’re also afraid of disappointing their parents. They tend to think that they’re incompetent because they aren’t doing well academically and their self-esteem takes a big hit. When this happens, it’s helpful to emphasize their strengths outside of school and show them that you think other parts of them are important too. Because teenagers are still developing their identity, it can be hard for them to recognize their own talents. That’s why it’s important to remind them of their positive qualities and make them feel valued. 

Tip: The more specific you make your examples, the more your teen will be inclined to believe you! For example: “You were really empathetic and attentive when your cousin was telling you her story” is more impactful than “You’re an empathetic person.” 

You can share this exercise with your teen as a way to help them identify their personal strengths and help them to see themself as a whole person rather than just a collection of school achievements 👉 Download our “My personal strengths” worksheet 

⚖Avoid the comparison trap

It can be easy to fall into the trap of comparing your child to their siblings or friends. But bear in mind that each mind is different and each person has a unique set of strengths and challenges. If your child struggles with academics, it’s important to help them develop other skills so they can flourish in areas outside of school. 

When your teen is struggling with school, they might bring home some negative emotions that they take out on you. Remember that their anger or frustration isn’t really about you, even when their actions make it seem that way. Their outburst are actually a good sign: it means that they trust you enough to express their emotions around you! 

Above all, it’s important that your teen understands you’re there for them no matter what they say or how much they struggle, and that you can enjoy spending time together ❤.