GETTING HELP
Discussing a psychological situation with your child's school
GETTING HELP
Discussing a psychological situation with your child's school
Authors: Joëlle Elias and Marie-Ève Caron from SantéFamille
When you called your child’s school to tell them that your child broke their arm, everything went smoothly. But when you tried to address your child’s psychological situation, did you feel powerless, misunderstood or, worse, incompetent? You’re not alone!
Here are five steps for communicating effectively with your child’s school about their psychological situation, as well as how to ask for support—all while making yourself understood and respected.
WHAT EXACTLY IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL SITUATION?
A psychological situation could involve anything that affects your child’s mental health: anxiety, adjustment problems, depression, etc.
While mental health challenges are not limited to a specific age, exposure to certain risk factors may increase during the teen years (identity questions, alcohol, drugs, violence, etc.). Disruptive behaviour may also begin to appear at this time. The COVID-19 pandemic has had an even greater impact on teens; three times as many young people as before the pandemic have described their mental health as “fair” or “poor.” In short, it’s normal to worry about your teen, and it’s just as normal to ask for support.
WHEN SHOULD YOU SPEAK TO YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES?
If your child has been going through a situation that’s impacting their schooling or their well-being at school, we recommend speaking about it with a resource person at the school.
Remember that school is like your child’s second home. The school’s goal is to promote the academic success and good health of young people, and working together is essential for supporting your child’s recovery.
However, if the situation is not having an impact on their academic life, it may be better to consult other resources. Your teen might even prefer to keep their situation confidential and separate from their school life so they aren’t perceived differently.
If you feel like the shcool team isn’t being receptive, don’t hesitate to talk to a trusted friend or with organizations in your area. What’s more, online resources such as SantéFamille (in French only) can offer you an online, judgment-free environment where you can speak with peers who may be experiencing similar situations.
All our support resourcesHOW CAN I EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE WITH MY CHILD’S SCHOOL ABOUT A PSYCHOLOGICAL SITUATION?
• Step 1: Identify a key person at the school with whom you can discuss the situation.
This could be, for instance, the school principal, a teacher, or a social worker: Choose whoever seems the most appropriate for your situation. This key person can then guide you and help you communicate with other members of school staff as needed.
If you don’t have a key person in mind, don’t hesitate to contact the school secretary to see if they can direct you to someone who can help.
• Step 2: Suggest to your teen that they participate in discussions with school staff.
This gives them the opportunity to directly talk about their experience and answer any questions the school staff might have. That way, you’ll all have a clearer idea of the situation and the discussion will stay focused on your child’s needs.
• Step 3: Ask the school what the best method of communication is.
Sometimes, you’ll need to schedule a meeting to loop in everyone who needs to be aware of what’s going on. See what works best for you and the school: meetings over the phone, virtually, or in person. Taking care of the technical details beforehand allows you to establish an effective communication strategy—the basis of any effective team!
• Step 4: Prepare for the meeting by organizing your thoughts.
Take notes on your child’s situation in order to communicate all the information you think is useful, such as the situation your child is going through and what seems to help or hinder them based on previous experiences. Tip: Make a timeline. This will give your notes some structure and help you remember everything.
• Step 5: Stay open to discussion with the school staff:
Encourage discussion by asking questions about what the school staff have observed from their side of things. Your child may act differently at home and at school. Plus, sometimes, an outside opinion can help you come up with new ideas for how to help your teen.
GOOD TO KNOW
As of age 14, your child must give their consent for psychological care. However, remember that you still have an important role to play in supporting and advocating for your teen. If you run into any issues, don’t hesitate to look for information and continue communicating with the school.
In any situation, keep in mind that your role as a parent will ALWAYS be important—just as important as taking care of yourself during these challenges.
NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH WITH YOUR TEEN?
Contact Tel-jeunes Parents for free professional support, 24/7
SantéFamille is an online organization with the mission of educating and empowering families so they can maintain good mental health by emphasizing learning and experience sharing.
Learn more (in French only)