RECOGNIZING PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR TEEN HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED
RECOGNIZING PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS
WHAT TO DO IF YOUR TEEN HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED
Article written in collaboration with the Marie-Vincent Foundation
Has your child told you that they were sexually assaulted or shared something else that has you worried?
For a parent or loved one, this information can come as a tremendous shock and may elicit strong feelings such as anger, sadness, fear, or injustice. This is perfectly normal.
However, it’s important for you to maintain your composure so you can support your teen in reporting the situation and finding resources to help them recover. The following information will help you understand what sexual abuse is and how to respond to it.
What is sexual abuse?
Sexual assault is any act of a sexual nature, with or without physical contact, performed without the consent of the other person. The victim is forced to fulfil the desires of their assailant through coercion, implicit or explicit threats, intimidation, emotional manipulation or blackmail, the use of physical force, or fear.
Sexual abuse is an act of violence to which the victim never consents and for which they are not responsible. It may involve penetration or attempted penetration, mouth-to-genital contact, or being forced to kiss, touch, or masturbate someone, touch someone or be touched by someone, look at or watch pornographic material, or take drugs or alcohol to have sexual relations.
Acts of sexual violence violate a teen’s basic human rights, damage their physical and psychological integrity, and compromise their safety.
Find out more about the different forms of sexual violenceStatistics
- 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys report having been a victim of sexual violence before the age of 18.1
- Did you know that in nearly 9 out of 10 cases, sexual assaults are committed by someone the young victim knows, such as a family member, an acquaintance, a friend, or an intimate partner?2
The impact of sexual assault on a teen’s mental health
Regardless of the form that it takes, sexual violence, even without physical contact, impacts teens in many ways.
In the short term, young victims of sexual violence may have significant emotional, psychological, or physical health problems.
Teen victims of sexual violence are significantly more likely to exhibit:
- Symptoms of post-traumatic stress (nightmares, flashbacks, avoidant behaviour, hypervigilance)
- Symptoms of anxiety (fear, nervousness, hypersensitivity)
- Symptoms of depression (bad mood, negative self-image, trouble experiencing pleasure)
- Aggressive behaviour (disrespect, opposition, lying, theft, unjustified aggressive words and actions towards others, bullying)
- Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts
- Self-harm behaviours (cutting, scratching, or burning their skin)
- Symptoms of dissociation and depersonalization (feeling disconnection from reality or from one’s body)
- Risky behaviours: substance abuse, having multiple sex partners (unplanned pregnancy, risk of sexually transmitted infections [STIs], high-risk pregnancy)
Teen victims are also more likely to perform poorly in school and to drop out of school.
These consequences often have long-term impacts and can lead to dysfunctional behaviour and significant distress in adulthood.
Learn more
How to react if your child tells you they have been sexually assaulted 🤔
A person who experiences or has experienced sexual violence may feel anxious, ashamed, angry, or sad. They may be hesitant to talk about it out of a fear of being judged or not being believed, or worry about retaliation from their assailant.
Telling someone about the situation requires a lot of courage, so it’s important for your child to feel supported and protected:
• Listen to them: Openly and calmly, without judging. Give them a chance to speak freely by asking open-ended questions. Don’t question them excessively to avoid influencing their account of what happened.
• Reassure them: Tell them that they made the right decision by talking to you about their problems and that you are going to help them. Remind them that they are not alone.
• Believe them: Show them that you believe them. Keep in mind that, even if their account isn’t fully clear, your child needs to know that you believe them.
• Relieve their guilt: Remind them that the perpetrator is the only one responsible for what happened. Your child is not guilty of doing anything wrong, and it’s important for them to understand this.
Avoid saying things like: “You could have stopped it,” “You led them on,” or “What were you wearing?”
Tell them that it was not their fault.
• Validate their emotions: Don’t downplay the situation. Avoid saying things like: “It could have been worse” or “You’ll get over it.”
• Report:As a parent, you are required to report the situation to the Director of Youth Protection (DYP). In fact, any person who suspects or is aware of sexual abuse of a minor must report it to the DYP, and professionals who work with children, employees of the health and social services network, teachers, childcare workers, and members of law enforcement have additional reporting duties.
👉 You can report the situation by contacting the Director of Youth Protection in your region, 24/7. The identity of the person filing the report is confidential. For help, read the document Reporting a Situation to the DYP is Already Protecting a Child.
👀 Note that you don’t need to have 100% of the facts or proof in order to report a situation.
👉 It is also possible to file a report with the police. There is no time limit for doing so.
Helpful resources for parents of teen victims
Has your teen experienced sexual violence? You are not alone. Here’s a list of resources that can help you:
• Services provided to parents by the Marie-Vincent Foundation
• Canadian Centre for Child Protection:
– Reporting a situation involving online sexual abuse
– Getting help to remove an intimate image being shared online
• My child has revealed a situation of sexual violence: guide for parents
NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL?
Contact Tel-jeunes Parents: it’s anonymous, free, and available 24/7
Sources
1Hébert, M., M. Tourigny, M. Cyr, P. McDuff, and J. Joly (2009). “Prevalence of childhood sexual abuse and timing of disclosure in a representative sample of adults from Quebec.” The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, vol. 54, no. 9, pp. 631-636. doi: 10.1177/070674370905400908
2 “Prevalence of Sexual Abuse Among Children and Youth,” Institut National de Santé Publique au Québec (INSPQ)
With our partner
The Marie-Vincent Foundation supports children and teens who are victims of violence by offering them the services they need, – all in one location. The Foundation also helps prevent sexual violence by focusing on education and awareness, and by helping children with problematic sexual behaviours.