Getting help

PREPARING FOR YOUR CHILD’S FIRST VISIT TO A PSYCHOTHERAPIST

Getting help

PREPARING FOR YOUR CHILD’S FIRST VISIT TO A PSYCHOTHERAPIST

AUTHOR: Nathalie Parent, psychologist

The decision has been made: your teen is going to start seeing a psychotherapist. Depending on their age and maturity, your teen can take the first steps in arranging the first session themselves, either by phone or email. 

Note that some professionals prefer to talk over the phone before the first session to work out administrative details. 

During this conversation, the psychotherapist will talk to you about things like the length of the sessions, payment methods and receipts, whether parents typically attend the first session, etc. 

What happens at a first session?

During your child’s first psychotherapy session, the professional will take stock of the situation and ask your teen what brings them to the office. Some psychotherapists will ask specific questions, while others will take a more conversational approach and only ask for clarifications as needed. 

Since the first session is often emotionally charged, your teen may want to think about the following topics ahead of time: 

  • The situation they want to talk about: beginning, context, etc. 
  • Any triggers, if applicable 
  • Any family history of physical or mental illness 
  • Stressful events they’ve gone through, particularly in the last year, but also since birth: separation, death, hospitalization (their own or of someone close to them), physical or psychological illness, past traumas, family drama, family secrets, breakups, alcoholism, violence, bullying, etc.) 
  • Their social life: progress at school, their relationships with friends and teachers 

Don’t hesitate to ask your psychotherapist about:

  • The number of sessions necessary
  • Their frequency
  • Session procedures
  • How confidentiality works during sessions

All of your questions are perfectly legitimate and can be discussed with your psychotherapist.

About confidentiality of treatment

According to the law, starting at the age of 14, a young person can decide to consult a therapist without informing their parents. This can be done at school through a CLSC or via a phone helpline such as Tel-jeunes.

So that the teen feels comfortable enough to talk about everything they want to, the psychotherapist is also bound by professional secrecy, which means that they keep the content of sessions private. However, the therapist has a duty to inform parents if the life or development of the young person is in danger.

Finally, if it is agreed upon by the teen and their parents, the psychotherapist may inform the parents of the progress of the therapy process after having agreed with the teen on the nature of the information to be given to parents.

Challenging misconceptions about psychotherapy

Challenging misconceptions about psychotherapy

If your teen has preconceived negative beliefs about psychotherapy:

“It’s useless!”

“I’m not crazy!”

“I don’t need it!” 

you can get them to talk about what they think to find out where these negative thoughts and false beliefs are coming from. Are they repeating somehting they’ve heard, or are they expressing hidden fears? You can also give examples of significant teens or adults in their life who have seen a psychotherapist, to help them gain confidence in the process.

 

You can also talk about therapy by relating it to something that your teen likes: for an athlete, you could compare a therapist to a “coach” who will work with the teen on their emotions, behaviours, etc. Or, you could make an analogy with the human body. When your arm hurts, you go to a doctor or a physiotherapist, right? When you have a psychological problem, you see a psychologist. 

What if your teen has had a bad experience with a former psychotherapist?

If your teen has had a negative experience with a therapist, they may feel apprehensive about trying again. The Ordre des psychologues1 is there to protect you in case of difficulties. 

A therapeutic relationship has to be built, and it may take a few sessions to see if things are working out. 

Why not tell the psychotherapist what didn’t work the last time, or what your teen didn’t like about the other therapist, in order to make adjustments?

Don’t hesitate to suggest that your teen read books that will support their treatment.2

 

[1] https://www.ordrepsy.qc.ca/mission

[2] The “perso” collection from Éditions MidiTrente https://www.miditrente.ca/fr/categorie/12-ans-et-plus

Need to talk about what you're going through with your teenager?

Contact Tel-jeunes Parents for free professional support, 24/7