Back to School: How To Overcome Appearance Anxiety

Based on an interview with Dr. Stéphanie Léonard, psychologist

As the school year approaches, teens may begin to feel more and more tense. While some associate back-to-school with joy and friend reunions, others associate it with social anxiety, judgement, and discrimination. In fact, one of the leading causes of bullying in adolescence is stigma related to weight.

The numbers are telling: 90% of Quebec students have witnessed bullying related to a person’s weight, and around one in five young people considered overweight by our society has been a victim of this kind of bullying.*

This phenomenon becomes even more prevalent when young bodies start rapidly changing. In the space of a summer, girls’ hips may get wider, and boys may grow so quickly that their bodies thin out. When this happens, teens may find it very hard to face the stares and teasing of their peers.

Here’s some advice from Dr. Stéphanie Léonard, a psychologist who specializes in body image, to help you better understand why some teens develop anxiety about their appearance and how you can help them have an easier time going back to school.

Why do some teens develop anxiety about their body image during back-to-school season?

The school year is an emotionally charged period for some teens. They’re already worried about academic pressures, yet they also have to deal with another concern: the way people look at them. At an age where bodies are changing rapidly, maintaining a positive body image can be very challenging.

A study by the ISQ (2018) found that the majority of high school students are unhappy with their physical appearance, even though half of them have a normal or below-normal body weight. Girls in particular are more likely to want to lose weight (31% vs. 16%), whereas boys are more likely to want to gain muscle mass (19% vs. 6%).

Young people are constantly exposed to images of unattainable bodies through social media and the news, and may progressively develop a negative perception of themselves. This is even more likely when their friends make negative comments about their appearance or the appearance of others, giving them the impression that, in order to be accepted and loved, they have to conform to physical stereotypes imposed by society.

When school starts back up, teens are confronted once again with the pressure of their peers’ judgement. They often compare themselves to each other, and trying to meet trendy beauty standards can become a major preoccupation. Negative comments or teasing related to their physical appearance can be especially harmful, reinforcing negative perceptions about their own bodies.

As a result, some young people develop a negative body image and start to adopt behaviours that are bad for their health, such as:

Trying dangerous diets that drastically limit their food intake.
Excessively exercising, which can lead to injury, hormonal disorders, heart trouble, and mental health problems.
Consuming toxic products to gain muscle mass or unregulated medications for weight loss.

In the long term, teens may develop anxiety, depression, or eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia, which can impact their school attendance and academic performance.

What can you do to help your child better handle their anxiety about their physical appearance when going back to school?

Have you noticed that your teen has a tendency to:

Put themself down over their appearance or compare themself to others?
Avoid certain activities because they’re uncomfortable with their body?
Isolate themself, withdraw, or act less cheerful than usual?
Change their eating habits or avoid family meals?

These may be signs that your child has anxiety related to a poor body image.

Even though your first reflex may be to reassure your child about their physical appearance, it’s more helpful to them if you simply make yourself available to listen, without judgement.

Avoid making comments like: “But you’re so beautiful/handsome . . . You’ve got nothing to worry about!” or “Don’t worry about that; you’ll see, everything will work out fine.” 

Instead, ask questions to better understand what your child is going through and how you can help (what would do them good). Be sure to acknowledge that the back-to-school season may be a stressful and uncomfortable time for them.

Try saying things like: “I understand where you’re coming from, going back to school isn’t easy,” “I’m here if you want to talk about it,” or “We’ll figure something out together so that things go as smoothly as possible for you.” Be there to comfort and support them.

Let them know that many teens have a tough time with the ways their bodies are changing. On top of having to adapt to these changes, they also have to deal with the images of “perfect” bodies that are constantly pushed on them by the media. Beauty and fashion industries make huge profits by exploiting the insecurities people have about their bodies.

Help your child broaden their perception of beauty beyond stereotypical criteria by sharing articles that will help them become aware of their body image and that encourage them to take a good look at their own biases related to physical appearance. You can also suggest that they check out the site “Bien avec mon corps” (available in French only) to learn more and find helpful resources. And don’t forget to inform yourself too! Our Family Toolkit has some useful articles on the topic.

Try to have an inclusive discussion with your teen about how there is no “perfect body” and how each person is unique and beautiful in their own way. Adopting a healthy lifestyle, eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep before all else are what keeps us healthy and helps us maintain a healthy relationship with our bodies.

Finally, rather than fixate on physical appearance, invest in your child’s inner qualities and skills as a way to build their self-esteem.

Here’s a final look at our top tips for helping teens with appearance anxiety prepare for back-to-school:

Try to emphasize the aspects of going to school that your child views positively. For example: seeing their friends again, getting back to their favourite artistic or athletic activities, etc.
Try to encourage them to talk about their discomfort with their friends. By having the support of their peers, your teen will be better equipped to deal with stares from other kids at school.
Educate your child as much as possible about body acceptance by sharing different content with them and adopting inclusive speech.
Emphasize the non-physical traits of your teen that are positive, inspirational, and strong.

Happy back to school season!

*According to a study by Professor Annie Aimé of the Université du Québec en Outaouais (UQO) in collaboration with the Quebec Public Health Association in 2018.

Accepting your body despite social pressure

What does it mean to accept your body? What are the psychological impacts of a negative body image? Where do beauty standards come from and why is it sometimes so hard to love your body when it doesn’t match these criteria?

In this video, psychologist Maeve O’Leary-Barrett has helpful tips for young people to help them develop a positive and expanded vision of the body and the notion of beauty.