GETTING HELP
Speaking about your child’s psychological situation with their school
GETTING HELP
Speaking about your child’s psychological situation with their school
Authors: Joëlle Elias and Marie-Ève Caron from SantéFamille
When you called your child’s school to tell them that your child broke their arm, everything went smoothly. But when you tried to address your child’s psychological situation, did you feel powerless, misunderstood or, worse, incompetent? You’re not alone!
Here are 5 steps for communicating effectively with your child’s school about their psychological situation as well as how to ask for support—all while making yourself understood and respected.
WHAT EXACTLY IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL SITUATION?
A psychological situation includes any type of element that concerns your child’s mental health: anxiety, adjustment problems, depression, etc.
While mental health challenges are not limited to a specific age, exposure to certain risk factors may increase during a child’s teenage years (discovering one’s identity, alcohol, drugs, violence, etc.). Disruptive behaviour may also begin to appear at this time. The COVID-19 pandemic has had an even greater impact on teens; three times as many young people as before the pandemic have described their mental health as “fair” or “poor.” In short, it is normal to worry about your teen, and it is just as normal to ask for support.
WHEN SHOULD YOU SPEAK TO YOUR SCHOOL ABOUT YOUR CHILD’S MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES?
If your child has been through a situation that’s impacting their schooling or their well-being at school, we recommend speaking about it with a resource person at the school.
Remember that school is your child’s second living environment after their family environment. The school’s goal is to promote the academic success and good health of young people: working together is therefore essential for supporting your child’s recovery.
However, if the situation does not have any impact on their academic life, it may be better to consult other resources. Your teen may, in fact, prefer to keep their situation confidential and separate from their school to keep it from affecting their image.
If you feel like the academic environment is not being receptive, don’t hesitate to start a conversation with other people around you or with organizations in your area. What’s more, online resources such as SantéFamille (in French only) can offer you an online, judgment-free environment where you can speak with peers who may be experiencing similar situations.
All our support resourcesHOW CAN I SPEAK EFFECTIVELY ABOUT MY CHILD’S PSYCHOLOGICAL SITUATION WITH THEIR SCHOOL?
• Step 1: Identify a key person at the school with whom you can discuss the situation.
The school’s principal, a teacher or a social worker: choose the person who seems the most appropriate for your situation. This key person can then guide you and help you communicate with other members of school staff as needed.
If you don’t have a key person in mind, don’t hesitate to contact the school secretary to see if they can direct you toward someone who can help.
• Step 2: Suggest to your teen that they participate in discussions with school staff.
This gives them the opportunity to express themselves in person and to answer any questions the school’s staff might have. Your discussions will therefore be more concrete and will stay focused on your child’s needs.
• Step 3: Ask the school what the best method of communication is.
Sometimes, these meetings require an appointment to mobilize the people who need to be there. See what works best for you and the school: meetings over the phone, virtually or in person. Taking care of the technical details beforehand allows you to establish an effective communication strategy—the basis of any effective team!
• Step 4: Prepare for the meeting by organizing your thoughts.
Take notes on your child’s situation in order to communicate all the information you think is useful, such as the situation your child is going through and what seems to help or hurt them based on previous experiences. A small tip: make a timeline. This will give your notes some structure and help you remember everything.
• Step 5: Stay open to discussion with the school staff:
Encourage discussion by asking questions on what the school staff have seen from their side of things. Reality at home and reality at school may be very different. Sometimes, an outside opinion can help you come up with a new idea of how to take action with your teen.
INFO
As of age 14, your child must give their own consent for care. Know that even in this case, your role will be important. If you are faced with certain issues, don’t hesitate to look for information and maintain your relationship with the school.
In any situation, keep in mind that your role as a parent will ALWAYS be important—just as important as taking care of yourself during these challenges.
NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH WITH YOUR CHILD?
Contact Tel-jeunes parents and benefit from their free, 24/7 professional support.
SantéFamille is an online organization with an educational mission to empower families to maintain good mental health by emphasizing education and experience sharing.
Learn more (in French only)